Building a Strong Intercultural Relationship
Falling for someone from a different culture is exciting, but sometimes the very differences that drew you together can become challenges. As an intercultural couple, you’re not only navigating the usual relationship dynamics but also bridging two distinct worlds.
You’re not alone in facing these common challenges
Language and Communication
A lack of communication or differing communication styles can fuel conflict in any relationship, and cultural differences certainly add a layer of complexity. What feels like open communication to one partner might come across as too direct to the other. Humor can also be tricky; some cultures joke by poking fun at others or using sharp humor, which can be misunderstood.
Values and Beliefs
From family roles to education and financial decisions, cultural differences can bring different, sometimes contrasting, values into the relationship. One partner might have a more collectivist, family-centered view, while the other values independence and self-expression. Parenting can introduce even more complexity, as each partner may have different ideas about raising children.
Belonging and Identity
When one partner lives in the other’s country, unique pressures and power dynamics can affect the relationship. Adapting to a foreign culture may lead to feelings of isolation, homesickness, or even a loss of identity. For instance, the “foreign” partner might struggle with not being able to visit family during important holidays due to flight costs or time constraints.
Everyday routines can be complicated by language barriers and unfamiliar social norms leaving the “foreign” partner feeling like an outsider. Meanwhile, their partner may not fully understand the impact of these struggles and feel uncertain about how to support them.
But here is what makes you unique and strong
Enhanced resilience and flexibility
You’re already doing the work! Building and sustaining an intercultural relationship requires an intentional effort to understand one another, and this curiosity and empathy are invaluable in any relationship. You’ve likely had to compromise, showing your openness and flexibility—both of which are crucial for a relationship’s longevity and happiness.
Wider perspectives and personal growth
Being with someone from a different culture expands your worldview in ways you might not have expected. The perspectives you gain from each other enriches your personal growth and what you bring to this world and other areas of your life.
How couples therapy can help
Getting professional help can benefit you in different ways:
Navigating conflicts and learning to stay connected despite differences and everyday stressors
Learning and practice communication techniques
Learning to cultivate and stay in touch with your cultural identity and values
Building empathy and familiarity with each other’s culture and background to ensure each partner feels valued
Working toward shared goals and developing a “team” mindset
This is your chance to create a partnership that is truly “yours”.
